when worlds collide

thursday december 3rd 2009

dead to me has joined
Jozette has joined

me: dead to me, jozette
jozette, dead to me
Jozette: haha
oh hello
dead to me: nice to meet you
Jozette: the pleasure is all mine.
(omg, hot IM 3-way.)
me: dead to me, im going to send you her picture so you can look at it while she types
Jozette: ahahaha
dead to me: i hope this won't ruin my friendship with dp
me: oh its over
Jozette: ahahaha
shhh... i'll never tell.
dead to me: yes, I will "look" at it
Jozette: so dead to me, you're in canada?
dead to me: currently, yes.
Jozette: i'm sorry to hear that.
dead to me: hahaha, it's not that bad
me: haha
dead to me: universal healthcare
me: but everyone talks funny
Jozette: commies.
me: and moose are everywhere
Jozette: omg. moose juice.
watch out for it
me: omg dead to me watch out for the moose juice
dead to me: instead of "sorry", they say "soory"
Jozette: aboat
dead to me: wtf is moose juice?
me: and all they eat is molasses
Jozette: moose juice
it can ruin your shoes
me: (blue)
Jozette: (blue)
me: this is good
you can get an idea of what its like to be around us
Jozette: ahahahaha
prepare yourself.
me: and not have any idea
Jozette: it can get ugly
and by ugly i mean AWESOME
me: yes we are very ugly
er
Jozette: umm
speak for yourself emily
me: "ugly"
Jozette: haahah
dead to me: I think I'll save myself the trouble and cut my wrists tonight
me: well that works out for everyone
Jozette: yea, probably better
me: way to take one for the team
Jozette: thanks dead to me!
such a gentleman
dead to me: just looking out for you guys
Jozette: so emily and i
somehow
came up with moose juice
whilst black friday shopping
at like 6am
i don't remember exactly how it happened but there was a stuffed animal involved.
me: one sec guys, phone
Jozette: oh man. emily.
fail.
me: i know its like im at work or something
Jozette: i'll just chat to myself
*whistling*
dead to me: way to be committed to the chat, emily
Jozette: sigh
i guess you and i can make awkward small talk til she gets back
dead to me: ok
me: omg this woman
wont shut up
Jozette: so...
dead to me: how did you meet dp?
Jozette: i met dp through emily
funny story actually
the first time i met him
which was like
2 years ago
dead to me: BORING
Jozette: ahahahaha
zzzzzzzzz
me: OMG THIS WOMAN
Jozette: tell her to shut her word hole.
me: whorewordhole
Jozette: shut your whorewordhole lady
that's surprisingly difficult to type
me: i wish you guys could see how hard im rolling my eyes right now
Jozette: i'm picturing it
it's so hard
hahah
me: SO HARD
Jozette: omg so hard and massive
me: dead to me where are you
Jozette: dead to me?
sigh.
me: ugh
he loves them and leaves them
Jozette: ahahaha
he asked me
how i met dp
then i tried to tell him
and he yelled at me
and then
he left
i mean.
i dont know about this guy
ahahaha
jk
emily?
omg i'm talking to myself
echoooo
dead to me: sorry
got pulled into something
i'm back
Jozette: welcome back.
dead to me: thanks
Jozette: what do you do?
like, for work
me: seriously
im going to blow my brains out
Jozette: omg
i have a meeting in a few min
dead to me: uh
Jozette: which will likely lead me to brains-blowing too
me: shes telling me about how they worked in dos in 1989
dead to me: i do supply chain stuff
Jozette: oh great, lady.
oh, cool.
dead to me: dos as in the computer software?
Jozette: i know a bit about it, but not really
me: yes
dead to me: yikes
me: yikes indeed
Jozette: did they have dot matrix printers?
me: should i ask her?
dead to me: supply chain is interesting and boring at the same time
me: hahaha
Jozette: sounds like it suits your personality perfectly.
me: hahahaha
Jozette: oh man. i dont even know you and i'm already being an asshole.
me: i cant fake laugh anymore
dead to me: LOLOLOL
haha
i have a friend named **** (emily, you know him)
and he uses "LOL"
me: she would type reindex and go to lunch and it would take an hour to resort..... OH THEY HAD AN IMPACT PRINTER
Jozette: ugh.
i only use it if I'm like, seriously L'ing O L.
dead to me: so when he tries to be funny and fails, i say to him (in person) "LOL"
me: omg this woman hasnt talked to another person in like 18 years
shes dumping it all on me
dead to me: does she have 18 cats?
Jozette: so what you're saying is... you were just making fun of me?
oh man.
dead to me: yes
Jozette: sweet.
dead to me: but i'm upfront and honest about it
Jozette: i like that
i wonder
emily
since dead to me and dp are friends
if i meet him
in person
will i hate him the first time?
me: ahahahah
dead to me: hahahaha
Jozette: b/c that's what happened w/ dp
me: (she hated dp)
dead to me: i remember emily telling me that
Jozette: yea. like. avid dislike.
dead to me: actually, didn't you hate me the first time you met me?
me: me?
dead to me: i was really drunk and obnoxious
yeah
Jozette: (dead to me, are you looking at my picture as you type?)
dead to me: oh, let me look


Jozette: ahahahaah
it will look as if i'm shouting at you
oh man
me: yeah i hated you so much i slept with you
Jozette: meeting
gotta run
i'll be back
me: ok byeeeee
dead to me: bye
me: omg this woman is still talking
dead to me: hated me that much, huh? imagine if you actually liked me then...
me: god only knows
dead to me: what is she talking about?
me: just hung up
dead to me: side question, is Jozette yelling in pain in this picture?
me: she wants to have a show here, she needs to talk to the galleries
and not to me but
i guess she worked here in 1989
so she told me the entire history of the college
dead to me: wonderful
me: and what she did
and who worked here
i dont know what shes yelling at in that picture
maybe somebody goosed her
dead to me: so it is yelling? not laughter?
me: shrieking
dead to me: maybe a surprised reaction?
me: a combination
dead to me: singing?
me: i just snorted
dead to me: nice
me: i didnt know you could group chat like this
until she just showed me
dead to me: neither did i
me: a whole new world

new addition

2 cats, 1 dog, 1 person, 225 square feet.


thats sara, she joins our happy little family on saturday.

i am thankful for

thanksgiving usually stresses me out. theres always too much going on and not enough time to see everyone i want to see. its hard to try to figure out the time split with both sets of parents, with thanksgiving, black friday, and usually a reunion of some kind going on throughout the four days im home. not to mention that my mom lives in the middle of nowhere, where i get no cell reception and it takes me a half hour to drive into town. and my dad has a couple of step daughters who i sometimes have to compete with for a bed. all of it spells trouble.

this years been no different... i just got off the phone with my mom and im starting to get the thanksgiving-anxiety. too many schedules to work around, too many feelings to not hurt, too many medications to keep me from thinking rationally. so times like these i need to take a breath and remember that i am so thankful.


im thankful that i love my family and they love me, and we can be super close and not clingy all at the same time. my amazing friends and their amazing lives. my pets, my apartment, my city, my relationships, all of it perfect. so bear with me while i complain my way through dinner and naps and shopping and everything so wonderful about this holiday. i will somehow get through it.

recovery

obviously i have spent the last few weeks recovering from the shock and devastation of the phillies loss. hey, no shame in losing in six to the overpaid, drug enhanced yankees... i was just kind of used to the world champion thing. and now im forced to watch jeopardy and wheel of fortune on these baseball-less nights at home. i cant wait for april!

in other news, i finally saw the ear nose and throat specialist about the piece of fat in my face that has been causing me all this grief for 13 years, and its actually more complicated than i had hoped. or, not as easily fixable. the fat under my eye isnt doing anything. the only thing that can lead to is vision problems, usually double vision, which ive never experienced but kind of wish i had so i could make some sweet foreigner related jokes. it is the reason that my left eyeball is set farther back than the right, and therefore looks skwintier in pictures (have fun with that word, spellcheck).

so, the fat is there forever, it will not evolve into anything worse, its just a part of me now. the real issue could be the "mucosal thickening" throughout my sinus. so now, im taking a steroid for 15 days and seeing if it reduces the swelling, hopefully permanently, and if not i will go back in 6 weeks and have my sinuses drilled.

thats right, im on steroids.

three to go

oh, you didnt know cliff lee was a ninja?


the new york post had some harsh words for us philadelphians, saying real life isnt like rocky and the underdog doesnt win. i guess they didnt realize that we arent the underdog anymore, were the world effing champions.

thanks guys

you made my night. i mean life.

its all fun and games

a new friend (a guy who is very funny online but embarrassingly lame in person and who has the potential to be good looking but has disgustingly long greased back hair) showed me a funny way to play pictionary online, which i tried out last night with jozette. on yahoo, theres a game called graffiti, which is basically just win lose or draw. you have to have three players to a room, so its me, jozette, and a random internet stranger. this stranger doesnt know that jozette and i are also instant messaging. so when i get my word that i am supposed to draw, i message it to her, secretly.

stairwell

then i start drawing this:


internet stranger starts guessing... ice cream! snake! dessert! jozette guesses... food! snake staring at ice cream! staring! stairs! stairwell!

she wins! internet stranger is thoroughly confused. so on and so forth.

then its internet strangers turn. they draw a completely sensible picture.


clearly the word is glasses. so we start guessing... face! acne! nerd! revenge of the nerds! montezumas revenge! diarrhea!

oh no, times up and nobody guessed glasses. how unfortunate.

youd be amazed how many people sat through an entire game (or 2) with us. maybe its mean, but i swear i have never laughed so hard alone at my computer before in my life. i highly recommend trying this at home.